I have long been an admirer of Frida Kahlo. I am of the opinion that certain artists speak to you on a level that goes beyond simply “liking” or “appreciating” their work. Kahlo speaks to me. One painting in particular that I always reflect on is, The Two Fridas, 1939. It was painted after her divorce from Diego Rivera. The two Fridas are sitting, holding hands with their hearts interlinked. One enrobed in traditional Tehuana dress and the other in westernised clothing.
To me, they represent different facets of her. We are all gems, with different facets making up the whole. I feel it shows her caught between her worlds; who she is, where she has been, where she is going and what she wants to be. This is something that I fully understand; I feel caught between my two worlds.
In catching up with some blog reading this week, I read a post on Chocolate and Zucchini. Clotilde wrote about witnessing a friend’s thesis defence, on the experience of refugee chefs in Paris. She opened with a poem by Nigerian writer Ijeoma Umebinyuo, called Diaspora Blues:
“So, here you are
too foreign for home
too foreign for here.
never enough for both.”
The lines Umebinyuo wrote spoke to me. I’m not entirely where I want to be right now. I’m striving to keep to the motto “bloom where you’re planted”. But I feel caught between my two worlds. England is becoming a place that I don’t recognise. It’s political agendas are disturbing. It appears that there is no room for growth. The people are becoming even less friendly than they already were.
We are running down a path and every time we come to a cross in the road and make a decision about our direction, it turns out that we keep coming back to the same path. Timing is everything and maybe this is where we are meant to be right now. Even if I don’t fully see or understand it. My Grandpa always said, you never see the whole puzzle at once. There is a reason for everything and I truly believe in that.
But, I’m ready for a change. I’m ready to see what comes next. I took a leap a little while ago and it turned into a dead end. So, I’m backing up and going down the next road. I hope it brings me closer to my dream. And I hope the path we’re on, brings us closer to our dreams.
This week seems to be more of a roller coaster ride than last week for some reason. I woke up bleary eyed to the alarm going off. It was still dark outside. I laid there for a few moments, running through everything I needed to do today to prep for tomorrow. I was under the dreamy-eyed impression that tomorrow would be Thursday and after a few minutes, I realised that it wasn’t Wednesday at all, in fact it was only Tuesday!
I don’t know how that could be? So much always happens on a Monday, it feels by the time we go to bed and wake up again, we should be much farther along in the week! Oh well, Tuesday it is and I can’t change that, so I’m just gonna hold on and enjoy the ride!
The first week back after a break is always the hardest. At least it is for us. I’m so happy that we’ve made it to Friday. Here’s to a great weekend run, hot coffee, a long hot shower, eating popcorn, watching movies, hanging out, listening to records and just being. Here’s to the weekend! Long may it last!
While listening to the radio this weekend we discovered a group we had not come across before, or at least knowingly heard them. They are the Bombay Dub Orchestra. The piece played was called “Mumtaz”.
I’ve not been able to get it out of my head. We got the album on Spotify and I’ve been playing it non-stop! I even listened to it this morning while walking through the woods. It reminds me of a piece of music that a former yoga teacher of mine would play during class. I find it intoxicating. It’s music that lifts your soul and makes you want to go on grand adventures.
I’ve been absent for the past few days because I’ve been lost in the land of a red-headed curly haired cherub, tiny baby toes and two wagging lab tails and I couldn’t have been any happier. I even got to see the Wienermobile! What a treat! As we move into this weekend, I wish everyone a blessed Easter. Happy weekend! Long may it last!
Last week I was a day ahead, this week I seem to be running a day behind. Maybe by next week, I’ll have caught up with myself. The sun came out to play yesterday and it was dazzling. The Japanese magnolias are beginning to flower around the neighbourhood and I love the shape of their blossoms.
The way it pinches together almost claw like, forming the shape of a finial resting on top of a bed post. The creamy milky colour of the outside petals with the the slightest bit of dark raspberry pink striped down the edges.
Once the buds open, the pink becomes more prominent. And when the sun shines through the petals they look like stained glass or the perfect cup of strawberry pink sorbet. Spring is “springing” and it’s making me so very happy. I just wish the sun would come out and play again today. Where are you Mr. Sunshine?
I’ve been grooving to this song a lot lately around the house, in between all of my podcast listening. After the events of the past few days and living within a world that feels like it’s going mad, I say we catch our breaths this weekend and dance. Dance, because we are alive and we will continue to move forward no matter what obstacles present themselves.